logo-image

Lost to the Flames

Shackelford Funeral Directors • Dec 01, 2016

Many of us have helplessly watched this week as wild fires raged around the resort areas of Pigeon Forge and Gatlinburg. We’ve waited and we’ve prayed and we’ve hoped that the rampage could be contained and the area impacted as little as possible.  And while we’ve waited we’ve watched, often as memories disappeared in the smoke and flames, memories that were embodied by the material possessions being consumed.

We grow attached to our stuff, and there’s no shame in that as long as we remember it’s just stuff. But that stuff often represents a tangible connection to a time or a place or a person that holds meaning in our lives.  When that connection is lost, for whatever reason, we can feel as though the mental and emotional connection is lost as well.  My daughter texted me during the day saying “Hillbilly Golf is gone” followed by a crying emoji. For years immediately after Christmas we went to Gatlinburg as a family—and it didn’t matter how cold it was, we were going to play putt-putt at Hillbilly Golf.  It was mandatory.  A later report stated the course had survived but with damage.  She made sure to let me know that a memory from her past had not disappeared completely.

There are so many places we would visit when we traveled east: The Peddler Steak House, The Pancake Pantry, The Ole’ Smoky Candy Kitchen.  (Do you see a pattern here?  Food played a huge role on our trips.)  We always visited Ripley’s Believe It or Not, The Mountain Mall—and we loved The Village Shops where The Donut Friar and the Cheese Cupboard reside (there’s that food thing again).   And we can’t forget The Christmas Place in Pigeon Forge.  Some of us could spend hours there, just wandering ‘mongst all things Christmas.  As I listened to the reports, I was relieved to learn that most of my memories survived unscathed.  But that relief was tempered by the realization that lives have been lost, wildlife has perished, and the beautiful mountains we love so well are now charred shadows of their former glory.

The loss of material possessions pales in the light of actual and presumed loss of life. However, for those who find themselves safe but their homes gone, there will be grief over what they once held dear.  As I mentioned earlier, those possessions are often links to something or someone that is no longer here, and when those links are gone our grief begins all over again.  Chris MacPherson of The Sweet Fanny Adams Theatre (which we also love), managed to escape with his pets and the clothes on his back.  Everything else was lost, including the 1971 Sweet Fanny Adams Volkswagen Beetle that belonged to his late father. That connection cannot be replaced and the grief for his father will now expand to include grief for something that was a tangible reminder of him, something that Don MacPherson loved and entrusted to his son.

It doesn’t have to be a devastating forest fire or a flood or tornado that impacts thousands to bring about new or renewed grief. Every day people suffer individual tragedies that steal tangible pieces of their past, pieces that can never be replaced, and the lack of national attention does not lessen the pain—if anything it might actually increase it.  Any tragedy that draws the world’s attention will also draw the world’s support, but loss on a smaller scale, confined to one person or a family, is often their loss to bear alone. We must be mindful that, great or small, loss is loss; there will always be pain and there will always be someone who needs our support.

By Lisa Thomas 10 Apr, 2024
If you’re a semi-regular reader, then you know I’ve been enduring that right of passage known as “The Packing of Parental Possessions”. For the last several months, the focus has been on cleaning out the apartment they occupied for 30 years . . .
By Lisa Thomas 04 Apr, 2024
When John Jacobs died of pancreatic cancer on October 29, 2005, his family was devastated. The New York defense attorney believed in staying connected to those he cherished the most, something he managed to accomplish by calling them three or four times a day on his beloved Motorola T720 cell phone . . .
By Lisa Thomas 28 Mar, 2024
There’s a place I’m privileged to visit on occasion—a civilized wilderness of sorts—where very few people intrude and my desire for hermitism (not to be confused with hermetism which is a philosophical or religious system based on the teaching of Hermes Trismegistus . . . mine just means I like being left alone) is fulfilled.
By Lisa Thomas 20 Mar, 2024
I am a lover of words and occasionally manage to put them together in a half-way decent manner. Ask me to speak to you spontaneously . . . off the cuff . . . with no preparation . . . and my brain freezes.
By Lisa Thomas 14 Mar, 2024
In a bookcase in the office in Savannah, you’ll find all kinds of books, mostly on grief (which makes perfect sense given that it’s an office in a funeral home).
By Lisa Thomas 07 Mar, 2024
When my daughter was in second grade the music program at her school disappeared. I don’t remember if it was a lack of personnel or a lack of funding or a lack of personnel caused by a lack of funding . . .
By Lisa Thomas 29 Feb, 2024
On November 21st of 2021, I wrote the blog “The Ultimate Reminder” about a gentleman I’d literally known all my life . . . about his acknowledgment that his circle of older family members and friends was rapidly dwindling . . . about how hard it was to watch them leave.
By Lisa Thomas 22 Feb, 2024
Recently local and national news outlets picked up the story of Pauline Pusser’s exhumation, turning it into front page news and lead stories.
By Lisa Thomas 14 Feb, 2024
We didn’t meet under the best of circumstances—I was the funeral director and he was the husband grieving the imminent death of his wife.
By Lisa Thomas 08 Feb, 2024
They stand beside the casket, gazing at its contents, lingering as long as possible . . . unwilling to leave because they know, once they do, they will never again see that person on this earth.
More Posts
Share by: