logo-image

Jean Lillian’s Journey

Lisa Thomas • Nov 29, 2017

Back in 1953 her family anxiously awaited her arrival—hers and that of her twin brother.  Of course, in 1953 there was no way of knowing they would be a girl and a boy.  The technology didn’t exist that allows such common knowledge today.  Times were very different and, in this instance, the parents would be as surprised as everyone else.

Their births on October 8 th were met with excitement and joy, both of which were short-lived, as was Jean Lillian.  Her brother survived, but she died the next day without her mother ever even holding her.  As I said, times were very different then; the common thought in the medical profession was that bonding should not be allowed—much less encouraged—since the child would never be going home with the parents.  It would be easier that way.  They didn’t realize that a mother and a father will hold that child in their hearts forever, whether or not they are allowed to hold them in their arms.

Their home was in Grand Prairie, Texas at the time, and she was buried in a cemetery there, but a year later the family moved to Tennessee, leaving Jean Lillian and a piece of their hearts in Texas.  Over the years her mother would talk about her baby, the child she had to leave behind.  The pain of that separation was obvious to her three remaining children, and together they decided Jean Lillian needed to be with her family, to rest beside them in death since she was never allowed to join them in life.  Their father had already died, and when their mother’s health began to decline, they realized the time had come.

As nice as Texas may be, things are not always as simple there as one might hope.  There was paperwork and red tape and governmental officials who had no allowance for older people who were trying to navigate through such . . . officials who got in absolutely no hurry to process the aforementioned paperwork.  She died with her family’s promise that Jean Lillian would join her here, but also knowing that mission had not yet been accomplished.

For a whole host of reasons, it took two years before the stars aligned and everything was in place.  As luck would have it, Jean Lillian’s sister and her husband were traveling and could go to Grand Prairie as a part of their trip.  The funeral director in Tennessee made the necessary arrangements with the funeral director in Texas, and the funeral director in Texas made the necessary arrangements with the cemetery.  He documented the process so Jean Lillian’s family could be there, even if only through the pictures he provided.  What remained of her remains were carefully casketed and given to her sister, as was the monument that had marked her grave for 64 years.  And so began her journey.

On a beautiful Sunday afternoon, the Bellis family gathered around a child-sized grave and watched as her casket was gently committed to the earth.  They sang and they prayed, they grieved and they rejoiced, for their sister . . . their aunt . . . their cousin now rested beside her parents, and their family was once again reunited.  Even though she never lived in Tennessee, Jean Lillian was finally home.

By Lisa Thomas 17 Apr, 2024
I have a confession to make. There are days when I’ll set the air conditioning on 65 and get the house cold enough to hang meat . . . and then light the fireplace.
By Lisa Thomas 10 Apr, 2024
If you’re a semi-regular reader, then you know I’ve been enduring that right of passage known as “The Packing of Parental Possessions”. For the last several months, the focus has been on cleaning out the apartment they occupied for 30 years . . .
By Lisa Thomas 04 Apr, 2024
When John Jacobs died of pancreatic cancer on October 29, 2005, his family was devastated. The New York defense attorney believed in staying connected to those he cherished the most, something he managed to accomplish by calling them three or four times a day on his beloved Motorola T720 cell phone . . .
By Lisa Thomas 28 Mar, 2024
There’s a place I’m privileged to visit on occasion—a civilized wilderness of sorts—where very few people intrude and my desire for hermitism (not to be confused with hermetism which is a philosophical or religious system based on the teaching of Hermes Trismegistus . . . mine just means I like being left alone) is fulfilled.
By Lisa Thomas 20 Mar, 2024
I am a lover of words and occasionally manage to put them together in a half-way decent manner. Ask me to speak to you spontaneously . . . off the cuff . . . with no preparation . . . and my brain freezes.
By Lisa Thomas 14 Mar, 2024
In a bookcase in the office in Savannah, you’ll find all kinds of books, mostly on grief (which makes perfect sense given that it’s an office in a funeral home).
By Lisa Thomas 07 Mar, 2024
When my daughter was in second grade the music program at her school disappeared. I don’t remember if it was a lack of personnel or a lack of funding or a lack of personnel caused by a lack of funding . . .
By Lisa Thomas 29 Feb, 2024
On November 21st of 2021, I wrote the blog “The Ultimate Reminder” about a gentleman I’d literally known all my life . . . about his acknowledgment that his circle of older family members and friends was rapidly dwindling . . . about how hard it was to watch them leave.
By Lisa Thomas 22 Feb, 2024
Recently local and national news outlets picked up the story of Pauline Pusser’s exhumation, turning it into front page news and lead stories.
By Lisa Thomas 14 Feb, 2024
We didn’t meet under the best of circumstances—I was the funeral director and he was the husband grieving the imminent death of his wife.
More Posts
Share by: